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Sports


Man’s entire year dependent on millionaires that don’t know he exists
ARIZONA - When asked how his life was going, local Coyotes fan Jamie Harris said, "I will let you know at 9 pm tonight," with 9 pm, of...


Winning team blames refs for winning
CINCINNATI - After a hard fought 23-19 win by the Bengals Sunday evening, Coach Zac Taylor took the podium and expressed his frustrations...


Drunk sports fan on couch knows more than the 50 professional coaches/scouts on the team
DALLAS - There are 50 coaches, scouts, and analysts working for the Dallas Mavericks. None of them came to the brilliance that local...


Coach fired in response to players being absolutely horrible
After yet another losing season for the Golden Eagles, Coach Willow Brewer was fired late Monday morning. When asking around for details...


NBA to replace players with average humans in response to Pistons viewership increase
DETROIT - Sitting at 2-26 and two games away from the record for the most losses in a row in NBA history, the Detroit Pistons have become...


NFL to replace Chiefs games with 2 hour broadcast of Taylor Swift standing
NEW YORK - After breaking records for viewership during Sunday's Chiefs vs Jets game, thanks to Taylor Swift, the NFL will scrap the...


Dolphins spare Broncos embarrassment by only beating them by 50 points
The most points by a team in NFL history happened all the way back in 1966 when Washington scored 72 points. The Dolphins had a chance to...


Victor Wembanyama projected to be really fucking tall, sources say
With the first pick in the 2023 NBA draft, the San Antonio Spurs selected Victor Wembanyama from France. I had never heard of this dude...


Damian Lillard states he want's to stay in Portland for 900th day in a row
PORTLAND - As the NBA offseason kicks off, with free agency set to begin on June 30th, the biggest question remains: What will Dame do?...


Grizzlies hire Tom Thibodeau to punish Ja Morant
MEMPHIS - A harsh punishment was laid down by NBA commissioner Adam Silver on Wednesday morning, as Ja Morant will be forced to play...
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