Senate passes bill to raise presidential age minimum to 90

WASHINGTON - Following the last two disastrous terms of Joe Biden and Donald Trump, the Senate passed a new bill on Tuesday morning, raising the minimum age for presidency to 90. "It's clear that we need somebody more mature in charge," said Senator William Vaughan.

This new bill would render Joe Biden, 80, and Donald Trump, 77, ineligible for the 2024 election. Joe Biden has assured his supporters that he will run for reelection once he becomes of age. "What am I running for again?" He asked. Meanwhile Trump has recently been indicted again and could potentially be facing over 700 years in jail. This would position Trump at the perfect age for reelection once he is released.

Some argue that individuals on the brink of death are not suitable candidates to lead a country. Vaughan refutes this. "A dead person would be the ideal candidate because they can't mess anything up," he said.